Tonight...Cheating...Pizza...and some Sexy Twilight Action

Let’s start out with a big congratulations to Conan O’Brien, who finally took over the Tonight Show from Jay Leno. I am a huge fan of the former Late Night host (fuck I hate Jimmy Fallon) and know he will figure out the right mix for the new and older audiences. I’m lucky enough to say that I went to a taping of the Late Night Show in Chicago three years ago and witnessed Chewbacca giving George Wendt, an actor from Cheers, a massage….and a happy ending? Andy Richter was a row behind me for a skit and Conan brought pizza to the crowds waiting on State Street. In addition, some black guy was the main guest, think Obama something. But, the most important thing was seeing a Wookie in person.

Pizza:

This week was supposed to be a full out pizza training week, but construction problems have pushed it back to next week. I did make a pizza yesterday. Making a deep dish pizza involves like 20 simple steps, some must be done in a particular order or after a certain amount of time. Overall, with practice I feel the steps will come naturally as long as I keep my arm (and penis) out of the mixer that run with like 15 horsepower. The first pizza I made was a large, juicy, sausage pizza for a lonely housewife and I delivered it in porno fashion….well not really, the people working ate it (no has died….yet), but one day that might happen for some lucky delivery guy.

Sports:

Sometimes you watch a movie and root for the villain as much as the hero such as Darth Vader from Star Wars, Hans Gruber from Die Hard, or Heath Ledger from Dark Knight (too soon?). Well, I am rooting for Bud Selig’s enemy named Manny Ramirez, the player who seems to hate the game he is so skilled at. I want him in the All Star game and I want Bud to sit there and look more constipated than usual. I am a huge fan of Mannywood and suggest everyone vote for him at http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/events/all_star/y2009/ballot_reg.html. Does he deserve to start? No. Is he better than the other starters…yes. He has two rings and is a better hitter than Soriano, who can’t seem to figure out how to hit that slider in the dirt yet. In the words of Hawk Harrelson, “He kills us”.

Speaking of cheaters, we cannot leave out Derrick Rose, who allegedly cheated on his SAT and took money from the school. Nothing is proven, but if true this will not affect his NBA career and will be forgotten once Brandon Marshall hits the streets of Atlanta or Denver. But, he is not that different from Barry Bonds or Manny. Both had Hall of Fame skills already, but needed a little help for records and big contracts. Rose would have made the NBA without playing in college, but he would not have been the No. 1 pick without the NCAA Tournament. Michael Beasley was the consensus number one pick up until the Final Four, since most NBA teams will take a big guy with potential over a guard. So thanks to cheating, Rose is the number one pick. If both played in Europe and the Rose was not from Chicago, then Beasley is the number one pick. I give a guy like Brandon Jennings, a high school star who did not qualify for college and played in Europe, a lot of credit for not cheating the system. He will be a lottery pick in late June and does not have a scandal hanging over him.

Culture:

I have had a desire to read more lately. I went to borders last night and almost bought Twilight…but then thought I saw someone (a threatening 12-year-old girl, bitch) and put it down. What the fuck is Twilight? The movie trailers make it look like a Harry Potter porno. Besides, didn’t Wesley Snipes kill all the Vampires yet? Am I too old or the wrong sex to get involved in the series? Is it bad if I Netflix it? I just feel like I am missing out on a great movie that swept the Oscars...oh wait, the MTV Movie Awards. Same thing right? Didn't Bruno dip his balls in Jack Nicholson's face? I did buy Can I Keep my Jersey? by Paul Shirley. Shirley was a skilled college basketball player and now is a scrub in the NBA. He is the guy who you point at the end of the bench and say that you could beat but can’t. NBA 2K rates him as one of the worst players in the NBA. It is a very sarcastic read about the life. Also, check out the band Gaslight Anthem. Got their album The ’59 Sound and really liked it. Kind of like a mature Blink 182 without the fear of flying (too soon?).

Thanks for reading. Going to try and post later this week about pizza updates and The Hangover (the film, not my life).