Would Kanye like my blog?

I think we all enjoyed the VMAs last weekend. Great performances by Jay Z and others was quickly overshadowed by Kanye West and his big mouth. Taylor Swift looked stunned as that idiot went up there and grabbed the microphone. His response on Leno was that he had been working too much. Nice try you idiot. As someone who is prone to say stupid shit, I applaud you for setting a new standard is mouth diarrhea. You are lucky though Kanye. You pissed off a legion of white country fans and stuck up for you master's wife (Beyonce is married to Jay Z and Kanye is nowhere without him). Something tells me that Swift fans and Kanye fans are two independent groups and that in a month we will not give a shit. I'm sure Jon and Kate Divided by 2 will steal some headlines or some other stupid celebrity garbage will make us forget this. But for now, we all can make jokes.

NFL Picks Week 2: (9-7 last week)
Oakland +3 (KC would have won last week, but Harbuagh must have bet on himself to go for that late touchdown to go up 14 last week.)
Titans -7
Pats -4
Bengals +9 (Ochocinco condoms : catched everything your johnson shoots)
Vikings -10
Saints -1.5
Panthers +6 (No way they suck 2 weeks in a row...looking at you Jake)
Skins -10
Cards +3
Seattle +1
Tampa +4.5
Denver -3
Ravens +3
Steelers -3 (Bears didn't show much last week and this matchup doesn't look too good)
Cowboys -3
Colts -3.5

Labor Day

Welcome back from a long and drunken weekend. Hope everyone enjoyed it safely. If you went home, then you are a pussy. You'd think 3 months was enough but I guess not, you pussy. For those who stayed, we found some new ways to have fun. On Saturday, a group of crossed "Join the Mug Club" off our List of Things to do Before We Graduate List (still on there...Quad/Stadium sex, order one last Shacker, and ride the MTD and know where I will end up). The Mug Club is a very nonexclusive club at the Illini Inn. For $6, you get two beers and must chug one. Then you are in and on Tuesdays, you get cheaper beer in a mug. Pretty sweet. The club was started in the 1970s so I am part of a long tradition. The bar is full of toothless townies and a bathroom that smells worse than the one at Kams (digest that comment...Kams smells very bad).

The real adventure came on the walk to Legends afterward. As the walking sign flashed 2 seconds remain (4th and Green), Mariner/Dego Tom and Boruszak (aka Dak) decided to run across while Druker and I sat back. A police car nearly hits them as the car jets through the yellow and quickly flashes the lights. The two were given jay walking warnings by the rookie cop. Meanwhile, we went to join them across the street where the two felons were conversing with the training officer. I offered her $20 to taser and mase Dak. She almost agreed. We continued to tell her that she had caught the biggest heroin dealers in Champaign and that needed to be frisked. Good sport about the whole thing as she agreed it was a stupid ticket.

Football:
With another Illini loss and Labor Day, the smell of the NFL draws near. My fantasy draft was Sunday and I am not overly thrilled with my team. Good potential but I must have forgotten my roots of drafting running backs early. Derrick Ward will kill or make my team.

Hopefully, Pavlov Media will fix our TV in time for tonight's game between the Champion Steelers and Titans. Steelers are -6.5 favorites and I really like them tonight for many reasons (home game, ring night, no Albert Hanyesworth). This week is the worst to bet on/predict games. We have no real idea what these teams are made, but I'll try my best.

NFL Picks Week 1
Miami +4
KC +13
Philly -2.5 (Dog friendly this week)
Denver +4 (Orton = Elway)
Minnesota -4.5 (Die Farve)
Jets +4 (J...E...T....S....jets, jets,jets)
Colts -7
Lion +13.5 (things can't be worse than last year...or can they?)
Cowboys -6
49ers +6
Skins +6.5
Seattle -8 (They are my bounce back/sleeper team...will win the division.)
BEARS +3.5
Bills +11 (I want to take the Pats, but Jauron always wins when on the hot seat.)
San Diego -9 (Raiders get killed every year to open the season.)

Thoughts:

• Beatles Rock Band is awesome. So is Keystone.
• Bronson looks sick.
• Korny decided it was a good idea to dump a bag of ice and water on me while I was sleeping. My bed is still wet and he will regret that decision.
  
• Jay Z album is good, nothing overly special but some good tunes. Got tickets to his Champaign show...good stuff.

Fighting the Good Fight

Welcome back, long time no blog for me recently. Very busy and all. But, I still have time to fight for what is right and I have found two causes that need attention brought to them. Effective today in the state of Lincoln is a brand new liquor tax. The tax is as follows (chicagotribune.com):

LIQUOR TAXES:

--On a six-pack of beer will increase from 10.4 cents to 13 cents.

--On a bottle of wine will go from 15 cents to 28 cents.

--On a fifth of distilled spirits will increase from 90 cents to $1.71.

As a poor college student and future Alcoholics Anonymous member, I am outraged. The angry economy has taken our money and prosperity and now wants to the only thing that makes life worth living, our booze. How will us college students ever remove the social awkwardness of life without the help our friends Miller, Bud, and Evan Williams (Jack Daniel's retarded cousin)? This means I went from paying $28.80 in taxes for my beloved Captain Morgan (90 cents times 32 weeks of school-notice I may have a drinking problem) to a staggering total of $54.72. Keystone and other discount beers are not worth three extra cents. What happened to no taxation without representation? Fuck you King George the Third...where is Mel Gibson at? This is a sad day for America. But there is hope out there. Rocky Wirtz, owner of the Blackhawks and liquor distribution lines, is suing the state under the idea that they are discriminating against a small group of businesses. On behalf of college students everywhere, I wish you good luck Mr. Wirtz. If you can make the Blackhawks watchable again, then you can do anything.

My second battle is against cell phones. I am for people having cool phones that text, send pictures, jerk you off, dispense ketchup, and have applications for fart noises, but please get off them. I have noticed more and more people are constantly on their phones while out at bars, at the movies, and even during simple conversation. It is rude and only making our generation look worse. Our communication skills are becoming a running joke. There is no reason to text someone across the room, just get up and tell them. Jaco, our guest blogger, is making an effort to stop texting "dick" and "tits" when he goes out. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Way to go and good luck little buddy.


Thoughts:

• First cold of the year, and it is still summer.
• Tip of the cap to chefs Pascal and Jaco.
• Wag of the finger to the White Sox...season is over.
• Why can't senior level classes have syllabus week too? Why must you go the full time?
• U of I upper management survives another day.
• Message to Roland Realty: You have ruined cable and air conditioning for my entire life. You make Comcast look good and they are the devil. Thanks.
  

Youtube song: Pearl Jam's "The Fixer"