Funny People and All Star Game

The All Star game just ended with the American League winning 4 to 3. The National League has lost every game (minus the tie) since 1996. This only furthers Bill Simmon's argument that PEDs and steroids are not inflating numbers, it is the National League's poor play (although that replay of the 1999 Home Run Derby looks jacked by today's standards). NL players deserve an asterisk for playing in such a watered down league. Since interleague play began in 1997, the AL has a commanding lead of 1673 wins to the NL's 1534. Since 1996, the NL has 5 World Series Championships, but the AL has 8 (including my White Sox, although I loved that Marlins team). The numbers clearly show that the AL is the superior league, and there are a number of reasons why.

1. Chicago, New York, and LA are the biggest markets in the USA (until LA is severed off into the ocean and becomes a futuristic prison) and each has two teams, one in each league. LA and Chicago both spend about the same per team, the Mets spend a lot, and the Yankees spend the most in all sports. The key difference is Boston. They spend the second most in baseball and have no NL counterpart (maybe Philly but they aren't even close except in obnoxiousness). So, AL has the two biggest spenders that attract the best players and force other teams to respond by attracting other good players. Also, it has made most team emphasize scouting and has produced players like Mauer, Kinsler, and Beckham (too soon?).
   
2. Pittsburgh is a minor league team that usually feeders player to the Cubs. They are there to be punched in the mouth...so add like 7 wins to every team and a ton of hits.
3. The AL has three really cheap teams such as Kansas City, Tampa Bay, and Oakland. Oakland is bad, but probably better than Pittsburgh (sense a theme), San Diego, Washington, and Arizona.
4. The Cubs try to lose. They are worth $900 million now, fuck winning. I have a theory that the fan base crumbles around the nation if they win, but the locals will stay strong. So, it is worth more to lose. The AL has Cleveland but who gives a fuck about that shit hole.

The All Star game is good fun though. I kept flipping back and forth though. I enjoyed President Obama when he joined the Fox crew. He looks good in a White Sox jersey and made a great first pitch. He'd make a great commissioner of a sports league.

Review: Funny People
I got into an advanced screening last night (thanks Jeff W. and Druker). Roger Ebert was there, although I didn't harass him. The film, directed by Judd Apatow, is about a comedian who starts out in stand up, becomes a star, makes shitty movies, and then finds out he may have a terminal disease. Sounds just like Adam Sandler....except the star part. Well anyway, he befriends the Judd Apatow guys (minus Paul Rudd) which consists of Seth Rogen the giant jew and fat Seth Rogen aka Jonah Hill. The best parts of the movie are the stand up comedy routines which were all written by the various performers throughout the film. Another great thing about the movie are the various cameos. The film features 2 hours of penis jokes (no actual penis showings...disappointing?) and 20 minutes of sad, relationship moments. Overall, it is a great film to add to Apatow's other ones such as Knocked Up and Forty Year Old Virgin. Maybe not as funny as Hangover but like all Apatow films, everyone will find something to enjoy and I think you could watch this movie over and over. There's a lot of good humor about relationships and friendships. For Sandler, I think this the best movie I have seen in him. We all loved Happy and Billy but after that he really got old and sucked balls. He fits in well with this crew of comedians and adds a lot to the film.

Thoughts:

• Manny Ramirez thanked all the fans for not voting for him. He has wanted the weekend off for like the past 10 years.
  
• During the game tonight, there was a three minute Taco Bell music video about dimes. It felt a little unnecessary because we all know that stoners can't pay attention that long.
• I wonder if Fox told Obama to make gay jokes like Artie if Joe Buck started to suck.
• If someone sees you at Harry Potter, just yell "Man, is this the line for the Hermione sex tape?" or don't and people will yell "You are a loser ". Do not say "Where's the line for Wolverine?"
• UFC 100 happened this week with the scary Brock Lesner winning the Heavy Weight belt. Will UFC go mainstream? I think it is real wrestling and violent boxing. What might hurt it? A death in the ring or more youtube videos like this one.