Come Hither and Learn

"They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way!"- The Untouchables

First, let me personally apologize for Jaco's latest entry. Had I know he was going to take a steamy dump on my child, I would have never allowed it. He ruined the English language. When he goes to hell on day, he will be beat up eternally by great literary masters such as Shakespeare and Hemingway for that travesty of an entry. He looks like no one and we all know that.

Now on to the news of the day...the disappointing announcement that Rio de Janeiro beat Chicago for the 2016 Olympics. Not only that, but Chicago was bounced first (even before Tokyo which was supposedly the worst of the four bids). I have been on record (what does that really mean?) that the Olympics would not benefit Chicago as much people think. Many cities were left with large, wasted facilities and little economic gain in the long term. Also, the heavy tax on Chicagoans during a recession doesn't sound like a good idea. Losing the bid is not the end of the world and we can always try again in 2020. Maybe the worst part of all of this that Obama failed. I am a supporter of Obama and his policies, but between this and his miserably slow and dieing health care plan, it is not looking to good. Going 0 for 2 in your first major league at bats is not a good sign. Maybe it was because he was there one day while the other leaders were there the whole week, but maybe it was anti-American sentiment from that Bush guy. Was there an open town hall where Fox News could place people in the stands to interrupt Obama and call him a liar? The real winners are the assholes at Fox News like that piece of shit Glen Beck. I'm sure Beck got wood when he heard Obama lost this battle. Their propaganda was focused on the fact that the country is in despair and Obama is concentrated on the games, but now they can say he lost us the bid. Way to go guys, you continue to create unnecessary amounts of fear and set our country back for years to come.

NFL Picks: 9-7 for Week2, no week 3 due to me being lazy so a total of 18-14.

1. Raiders +9 (just got McFadden and he is gonna rock Houston)
2. Jags +3 (at home? really?)
3. Ravens +2 (Pats looked like early 2000 Pats...but the Ravens are for real)
4. Bungals -6.5
5. Giants -9
6. Bears -10 (think this could be close, but Forte returns to form this week)
7. Tampa +7.5 (versus the Skins...nap time)
8. Colts -10.5
9. Jets +7
10. Bills -1.5
11. San Fran -10
12. Cowboys -3
13. Chargers +7
14. Packers +3.5 (Rodgers is Vader and Vader kills his teacher Obi Wan)

My Generic Face

Whatsup to the nine people that actually read this blog. Jaco's back, I know you missed me. I'd like to have a whole lot of intuitive and insightful things to talk about after such a long hiatus, but instead I'm going to go with a subject I think I know a lot about...me. I'm clearly awesome in so many many ways, but one thing that I don't have going for me is that there is nothing unique about the way I look. It's not a bad thing, but I apparently share my generic features with a wide range of people. Most of the time I don't see it, but I always seem to look like a different person to different people. Let me show you all some pictures of people I've been told I look like, you decide what works....

Me: Here's a picture of myself just to give you a frame of reference to what I look like and you can judge for yourselves how closely I resemble everyone else listed. 

Turtle: I get this one the most, and fine I'll give you guys this one, I dressed up as turtle for an exchange before and pulled it off wayyyy to easily. He's dating jamie lynn seigler in real life, so thanks for proving that I have the potential to attract hot girls, turtle.

Jimmie Johnson: Professional nascar driver and I hear he's a winner. I'm not really into nascar but I would love to get real drunk and go to a race someday and shout obscenities at the drivers as they continuously turn left at 150 mph for 3 hours.

Tony Stewart: Sticking with the nascar theme. Again, I still don't know much at all about nascar but I hear this guy is a jerk. In no way does he represent me and my fellow generics, he gives us a bad name.

John Cusack: Good actor, was in a bunch of 80's teen comedies that I liked. I'll check this comparison off in the win column.

Kipton: I don't know this guy's first name, but he was on the most recent season of the bachelorette. If he does indeed look like me he should have won. If he didn't win, then that show should be cancelled and I'm going to write that bitch a very impolite letter. Very Impolite.

Shia Labeouf: I don't see it, but he's not ugly so I'll take it.

Chris Paul: I actually look nothing like him...he's just awesome.

And that about rounds out my list. Let me know if you have anyone else in mind that I look like, I'm sure there is a lot more of me out there. Till next time, Jaco, out.